Grateful would not be at the top of the list. Probably not even on the first page.
I'm feeling mostly cranky and overwhelmed again; stress-eating everything in sight and barely sleeping. In a word: swamped. In the muck, stuck.
But also, the tedium of hashing and rehashing that all out again here, serving up a steaming plate of my refried misery for you? Done. Overdone.
I want to be moving on.
Aren't I always yammering on to Ethan about how happiness hangs upon the scales of gratitude not possession?
Time to practice what I preach.
So I will count my blessings instead of listing off my grievances today. (Even though they are many -- chief among them the story of how the hospital tried hard to kill off my mother, the full tale of which will be told when I can do so without being overcome by blind rage.)
Things I am Grateful for:
This week a number of my sons' friends have had step throat -- I am so glad we don't have that here (yet).
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Last week a dear friend's father died quite suddenly, out of the clear blue, while she was traveling with him in India. He was young, vibrant, vital still - 70 - and it was quite a shock to her.
I am so glad that I got to say goodbye to my father, that I got to see him live out the full spate of his years. Even though those last months were so dreadful, we had completed our leave-taking with each other. We had no unfinished business. I am deeply grateful for this.
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For the past two and a half weeks my mother has been in hospital and rehab unit beds, not her own. Unmoored and unhappy, isolated, alone and often confused when I could not be there (and I could not be there every minute, my children needed me, too.)
I am overwhelmingly grateful that she is finally back home, reconnecting with her life.
The whole staff of her assisted living community sought me out to tell me how glad they were to have her back, how much they had missed her. Her friends have brought her flowers, come to visit.
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| The three musketeers will ride again! |
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I spent most of the day at my mother's trying to sort out the support services for her continued recovery and reintegration and the tangle of medications added & adjusted during her hospital stay.
But tonight? Thanks to a friend for lending a babysitter, my husband and I got to go out on a much needed date, the first in a long time (family and work events don't count).
I am grateful for the simple joys of sharing a movie and some sushi with the man I love.
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Finally: in the past two years Ethan has chosen to be an obscure Pokemon for Halloween. This required MAJOR costume creation efforts from me with MUCH sewing involved. We're talking ears and tails here, people.
This year's costume, while equally elaborate has mostly involved acquisition and ASSEMBLY and not much in the way of sewing.
So I am very, very grateful for the lack of a TAIL in this year's Halloween costume. (And that elf ears can be BOUGHT ready-made on the internet.)
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| 2009 - Lucario - TAIL |
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| 2010 - Electabuzz - TAIL |
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| 2011 - Link - NO TAIL! |
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